In October of 2007, I received our quarterly LPA (Little People of America) magazine and read through it. I noticed the page of children listed for adoption. One little precious 9 month old in Russia, Valeria, and also Lilly, 4 years old in Poland. Oh, how wonderful it would be to give a child with Achondroplasia, a home, what a blessing that would be for all of us...I had tears in my eyes, and asked Matt if I could inquire...he reluctantly said yes. I honestly think he was just humoring me at the time...I sent an email to the LPA adoption coordinator and she responded with news that they had both been placed with their forever families...It was a happy and sad moment, happy for them, sad for us that they wouldn't be coming to our home.
Fast forward a bit to Dec. 2008...our great niece, Micah was born. I was at at the hospital when she was delivered by c-section. Ten days before her arrival Matt and I had signed adoption papers that we would be her parents. Our niece had left her abusive husband...Little did we know, what the next year would hold...we had a fight on our hands, the father would not sign his rights away even though he had expressed that she terminate the pregnancy (according to our niece)...after a year long, drawn out, painful court battle, and Micah living in foster care during that time, her mother eventually went back to her husband and the courts granted them custody. We had done all we could and had to let go...it was a pain that is indescribable...Although Micah never came to live with us, we all bonded with her. We visited her often and I would see her several times a week, often daily, even if just for 30 minutes. The boys loved their little sister. Needless to say after all the pain and anguish, my husband was done with any idea of adopting. We still know that God works all things for good, and He used us during that time...that sweet baby girl was a joy and was protected that 1st year of her life. We believe it was a wakeup call for her biological parents to get with the program...we continue to pray for her safety and well-being...With my heart in pieces, still knowing that this was God's will, I still had this longing...It was suggested that we get a dog, to replace that “lose” for the boys...so I did, then six months later, we added another dog...that was not it...it was not MY need to nurture...I still felt I had this "calling from God."
I started my search again for a child, alone, while continuing to pray that God place this on Matt's heart or help me to put my focus somewhere else...this search was for a child with Achondroplasia. Our LPA magazine came again July 2010, and I saw a boy from China, Aiden, he was 9 and full of spunk...months later I met his mother online through different sites and blogs...Her adoption was complete in May of this year...We have corresponded and one thing she said has stuck with me, "all I can say is that when you get home with the child God has chosen for you, it is wonderful!” I continue to hear those words.
So our story continues...Earlier this year there was a Bible Study offered for a small group at our church St. Francis, "Experiencing God, Knowing and Doing the Will of God." Matt and I discussed joining and we did. We weren't able to attend every class together, but enjoyed the study and being in God's word together. We had not done a study together in quite some time and I had not done any studying in quite a while as well. Another reason of MINE was to find out if this whole adoption thing was MY will or GOD'S will. The last class focused on experiencing God as a couple...This is where it was so challenging...I had been approaching the subject of adoption periodically over the past several months with Matt and really did not get a favorable response. He didn't want to get hurt again PERIOD!! That ship has sailed, we are complete were some of his answers...I asked him to just please pray about it. I would send him emails quoting scripture, in my opinion, from God, in his opinion, from me. I had been in touch with 4 moms that have adopted or are in the process of adopting. I received different emails with different children listed...One in particular included a video, and this one I knew was OUR SON! He was listed as "Steven." A video posted on youtube of 3 Chinese teenage girls that had been adopted from this orphanage many years ago. They visited the orphanage for 2 weeks, and the video showed all the "special needs" children in line, one by one, giving them a picture they had drawn and giving and receiving hugs. This son of ours on the other side of the world, how on earth would I get to him! How on earth would WE get to him? How on earth would God place this call on my husband? These worries were not for me since God is in charge.
Matt was turning 50 in June, and told me, "just let me get through my birthday." It was a big one for him since he had lost his best friend at 50 a few years earlier. I agreed and kept my trap shut, which was so hard, but I said that I would...his birthday came and went and I kept checking to see if "Steven" was still listed on the "shared list." He was, but he had also been placed on another "special needs" website. Many people had been advocating for him for so long. I knew once he was listed on the latest website, someone would see him and he would be matched. On June 24th, a few days before my CA LPA trip with Morgan, Matt told me I could look into it! I was so excited I could hardly see straight let alone, type. I went on the website, and HE WAS GONE! I thought there must be some mistake, I must be seeing things. Where the heck did he go??? I emailed the ladies on the internet with a desperate plea!! Please find my son!!! I later received word that he had been matched and the family had their PA (pre-approval) from China. I sat in silence. “Is this your Will for us Lord,” I asked. I can accept all things from Him, I just wasn't sure that this was his answer, yet...so I pick myself up again, and continued in my wonderful life as a wife to an incredible man and mother of 3 amazing boys! Surely I have everything one could want...but that is the whole thing...this is NOT ABOUT ME!!! It is all about GOD!! What does He want? What is His will? I was having a time discerning...when in doubt, wait on the Lord!
I had been in touch with an adoption agency out of town and she forwarded a file of another boy, almost 6, in China with Achondroplasia. Matt and I chatted about him, and decided to gather more information. Once again, too late! He had already been matched. “Are you trying to tell me something God?” What is that all about??
So, now we are to August 2011. The agency sent another file about another boy, 9 years old also in China. His file had information in it that was 4 years old. We could not make a decision based on information that was that old so we asked for an update. I received the update, and wasn't getting peace, you know that feeling when you know something is completely right. I also wasn't convinced that he had Achondroplasia and may have a different form of dwarfism altogether. I felt like I was trying to feel something that I wasn't because I felt so strongly about this "call" from God. This whole decision effects our whole family and lives, good, bad or indifferent. Matt and I talked about everything and decided to just give this to God and REALLY let Him guide us. Waiting on the Lord is mentioned quite a bit in the Bible he reminded me...
I had spoken to the agency on September 1st, a Thursday and she was going to follow up with me the next week with further information we were still waiting on from China. September 2nd, Friday, I received an email from a woman in Colorado who I had previously been in touch...the email read, " I am almost speechless but also know that God definitely has a plan for this child. The family who was supposed to adopt "Steven" can no longer adopt him. With heavy hearts they are releasing "Steven's" file back. At this point I am unsure if it is going directly to the shared list. If you by chance are still interested in "Steven", I would contact the agency tomorrow." I called Matt immediately and told him the news!! Contacted the agency and then waited...the out office reply came back with contact information for someone else that might have information about "Steven." They did not know where his file was, so I sat and waited for God to speak! I talked to the agency on the following Monday and the race began...I filled out all the preliminary paperwork and also our parenting resource plan which is an in depth questionnaire in regards to how you will parent and handle ALL the varying issues that CAN go with an international adoption especially with an 'older' child.
On Sept 19th, I received an email that said, “I have good news for you. I was able to lock Wu Xue Fa’s file for you and CCCWA has approved the pre application! You now have up to 6 months to have your dossier logged in to China.” YAHOO!!! I can't believe it, but I can because “all things are possible with God!!” So the paper chase is on!
