Our adoption journey

This is our journey to adopt our son who has Achondroplasia, the most common form of short stature/dwarfism and lives a half a world away. He has been waiting so long and we are unbelievably humbled to answer God's call. "Here we are Lord! Please lead the way."
John 14:18 "I will not abandon you as orphans, I will come to you."

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Finally!! I've been working on this for a while...


I will do better, I will do better, I will do better!!  Shocking, I know, that I might actually get a post done before the end of the year!! It’s been a very busy couple of months…the end of the school year (and the beginning is just a few weeks away...Since so much time has gone by again, I will do a “little” recap…most know a little doesn't really mean a little....please excuse any typos, I'll re-read this at a later date and know that I will kick myself when I see them...
I had forgotten (I think) to mention that Michael got the AB honor roll for the 3rd quarter at school!!  The B was in Language Arts…4th quarter was 2As, 1 B and 1C…He had a fabulous first year in school here!!  I think it goes without saying, once he can read fluently in English on his grade level, he will soar!!  I look forward to that day because the challenges are upon us with his language…All the boys have a summer reading project to do, (LET’S GET THEM DONE!!!) I got approval for Michael to read a book NOT on the list since I couldn’t find any of them in Chinese. I had ordered him Chinese books awhile back and he had one that he hasn’t read.  When I gave it to him to read, he expressed that he couldn't read it!!WHAT??  Are we in between now?? You can’t read the English, but now you can’t read the Chinese???  After some discussion, he showed that he COULD still read, but I believe he didn't really want to …I think he has tried to put ALL of the Chinese behind him…this is “normal” for some children, but it doesn't change the fact, he still came from there…
I tried to explain the instructions of the project to him….I translated in into Chinese to see if that would be helpful since my explanation was not getting through…I gave up…I thought a break was in order and we could talk about it when we are both fresh…I had printed copies of the instructions for Morgan also…Without asking, (I believe Morgan could sense Michael’s frustration) he took it upon himself to explain the project to Michael…after a few minutes, Morgan came in my office and said, “I explained it, he gets it now.”  That is all I needed!!  I needed a 10 year old to explain it!! I will miss them being in class together next year, BUT we will have the same team of teachers, so that will be extremely helpful, same classes, same homework!!  That will help a momma out, this momma!!
Beach day with some LPA (Little People of America) friends, not to be confused with LPA (Liberty Pines Academy). What an awesome day!!  This was with our friends that we met initially upon Morgan’s diagnosis.  Miranda is our friend who won a Gold Medal in the 2008 Beijing Paralympics…Her boyfriend was visiting from Michigan. He has Achondroplasia as well…What a nice young man!! I met him a few years ago at a LPA regional weekend. That was the first time I could ‘SEE’ Morgan as a teenager. Morgan really took to Adam, and they hung out in the water and threw the football.  It was so awesome to see him ‘look up’ to Adam. I had meant to get pictures of all of them together but never managed to get them taken.  We will see Adam again in August which brings me to another HUGE occasion!!!

THE 2013 WORLD Dwarf GAMES!!! Most know I am NOT a fan of that term, although it is better than the M word, that one is UNACCEPTABLE…Anyway, we have been waiting a few years for this event to roll around!!  We didn’t make it last year to the National Games in Dallas since I was in China…This is the first time since the very first World Games it has been in the US…Morgan and Michael are very excited to participate this year and represent the GREAT USA – TEAM RAY FOR USA!!  I’ve got their USA swim caps  and new swimsuits ready for the competition (it’s a surprise)!!! They were both profiled in the World Games Newsletter a few months ago.
TEAM USA Athlete Profiles
This month, we profile the Ray brothers from St. Augustine, Florida. Morgan has participated in several DAAA National Games, while for Michael, the World Dwarf Games will be his first DAAA event.

Name: Morgan Ray
Age: 10
Home: St. Augustine, FL
 Grade: 4th Grade
How long have you participated in DAAA Games? I first competed in 2010 in Nashville. It was a lot of fun! I won three gold medals in swimming and one silver medal in soccer. I went to Anaheim and won 3 gold medals in swimming, one silver medal in track/field, one in volleyball and one in soccer and one in basketball. I was sad to miss the Dallas events last summer, but my mom and older brother were in China finalizing paperwork to bring home our new brother, Michael.

How did you get involved in DAAA? I love sports and my mom told me about it a few years ago.
Favorite DAAA sport: Swimming
What sports do you play at home? I have been playing soccer since I was 4 years old and also swimming in a summer swim league for the past 4 years. I have been playing basketball for the past 3 years as well. I also like to play football (no tackle), rip-sticking and cycling.

Favorite DAAA memory: In 2011, in Anaheim, I had my best times ever and the butterfly was my best event.
What is your sporting ambition? I would love to swim in the Paralympics one day and bring home the gold for the USA!

Why are you looking forward to the 2013 World Games? I’m looking forward to seeing old friends, meeting new ones and competing. I’m also looking forward to the road trip to get there.

Name: Michael Ray Age: 10
 Home: St. Augustine, FL
Grade: 4th Grade

What sports do you plan to compete in at the World Dwarf Games? Swimming, soccer, track/field, possibly basketball
Favorite sport: Basketball

What sports do you play at home? Soccer, basketball and swimming
Favorite memory in sports: There are so many and they are all very recent. I was adopted this past summer from China, so in the past 8 months, I have learned to swim, ride a bike and scooter, play soccer, basketball, badminton and football.

What is your sporting ambition? I might like to go to the Paralympics one day in swimming.
Why are you looking forward to the 2013 World Games? I will get to meet more people that are little like me and people from other countries, and it will be fun to go on this big trip.

PRETTY COOL, huh??!! 
The World Games happen every 4 years just like the Olympics and Paralympics.  It will be a while before they are in the states again. Having looked at the records, it is possible for Morgan and/or Michael to break the World records. Not sure how many kids will be swimming but the events are only 25 meters. The boys swim 50 yards in meets currently. Michael has asked to swim the 100 FREE in our next summer league meet! That is huge!! 

It was several weeks ago when there was a MAJOR heartbreak for me!!! We were at our 2nd swim meet of the season…Michael is really FAST! I mean, he is FAST! His little arms can go lightning speed!!  Morgan is fast also, but is more methodical and also his technique is superior, as it should be since he has been swimming a LOT longer…Morgan and Michael were in the same heat on the 50fly, opposite sides of the pool, lane 6 and lane 1…my heart was pounding out of my chest, cheering for both of them , but knowing Morgan’s heart would be broken if his new brother beat him, AND Michael would NOT care if HE beat Morgan, he is just happy to swim!! As I was watching, during the second lap, I was saying quietly to myself, aloud, “please don’t beat him, please don’t beat him…”my heart was crumbling as I knew what was about to happen…this child, MY CHILD, that sunk to the bottom of the pool almost one year ago in China, just beat MY CHILD, who has the SWEETEST heart, and now a broken heart…As tears were filling my eyes, I watched the look on Morgan’s face on the other side of the pool…his head dropped when he saw that Michael was at the end of the pool first…Multiple daggers through the heart!! How will I remedy this one???!!! Oh my dear Lord!! Please give me the words of encouragement to share with him right now!! Apparently, Mason was at the block by Michael and said, “YOU BEAT MORGAN!” (he claimed later he was saying it like, wow! You beat Morgan!, but it was interpreted by others that he was saying it like HAHA, you beat Morgan…I will choose to believe the first…Michael’s response was classic, humble… he responded with a shrug of the shoulders and a “so.”  Let the cheerleading begin!!  I went to both of them and expressed how proud I was of both of them, Michael said, thanks and Morgan said, ‘He beat me didn’t he??!”  I tried to say I didn’t know, and he said, “I know he did…” Michael was reassuring him and telling him it was okay…” what a love!! I did share with Morgan that Michael still has to work on his technique and he may have been disqualified….Morgan lashed out to him and said, “You were doing it wrong.”  I told him that wasn’t nice and he should apologize to Michael. Just because he feels bad, doesn’t mean that he needs to go on the attack…he realized his mistake and apologized and slowly he was fine…I did have a sense of judgment for a moment when all this happened..I felt like someone close by thought ill of me because I didn’t want Michael to beat Morgan…NOT THIS YEAR!!! Later, but NOT now!!! I have virtual twins…this has pros and cons…mostly pros, this would be one of the cons though…Morgan is VERY competitive! (like it or not, we all are!!) Again, God knew what He was doing when He made Mason the first born (NEWSFLASH!! This is not shocking that God knows what He is doing!)…someone to push Morgan to keep up and not lead a sedentary life…NOW Michael coming in will ALSO push Morgan to continue to strive!  
Last 4th grade field trip of the school year was to Cape Canaveral.  I was excited to go on the trip with the boys and be a chaperon. The bus ride was a couple of hours and the majority of the children were well behaved. We toured all over the space center, and all the boys wanted to go on the simulator. Problem, there is a height requirement…Michael’s torso is average, so he sits the same height as his peers, but there was no way…It began like this…I saw the requirement and was dreading what might happen, but had to give it a try. Got passed the first person, deep breath.  I kept telling Michael to stretch out, and stand tall!! We got to another area and a lady said, “I need to measure him.” All the while his peers are watching…I had been shielding him but I  couldn't any longer. The lady pulled him to the marker and said, “HE’S TOO SHORT!” I was mortified!!  I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and tell her, “I’m sorry, could you say that a little louder, since the people outside didn't hear you?!!” His head dropped down as if he was ashamed…we continued through as I couldn't leave the rest of the boys…so now I thought maybe we would actually get through…now I am normally a rule follower, but I have been on this simulator before and really, in my opinion, he would have been fine….we got to the line up area for the rows…then a man said, are you going?  I was about to sweat!!  Then we started to line up and then Michael said to me, Mommy we can’t go…” UGH! What am I teaching him??  Torn!!  The man then said, “come over here so I can measure him.” I expressed to the man that he is not tall enough and that he has short arms and legs, if he had average limbs he would be tall enough…he is 10 years old….blah blah blah….” He was rude and said, “I don’t care if he is 100 years old, if he isn’t tall enough, then he isn’t tall enough.” God held my arms behind me!!  Are you kidding me?? Did you really just say that to me??? Then, a lady came over to me, and said she was sorry. I again, explained things to her, but gave her more background info…”He has a form of dwarfism, short arms, legs, we adopted him last year…His own country didn’t want him because he is too short, now the lady says that in front of everyone! That is why he is here, because he is short…THAT IS WHY WE WANTED HIM!”  She decided that her mission for the day was to get my son on the simulator…she made a call, we waited, the other boys had gone in…we waited, and waited…she came over and said, “I’m sorry, they said no…you can go watch the tv screen on the other side…” she walked with us, all the while, she had tears in her eyes and she was so upset…I’m quite sure we were a topic at her dinner table that night…on the other side, we watched the children on the simulator…not quite the same…I asked all the boys beforehand not to come out of there and hoot and holler about how great it was…they were respectful of Michael’s feelings, then we continued through the park  on the beautiful day God made for us!





girl legos!!

As they shut the doors
Michael watching the screen of his friends in the simulator...my heart was in pieces...He was very strong, but I know he was also very sad...
The next day at school was the Liberty Parade…it used to be on the last day of school, but this worked out much better!!  Our school recognizes those who have served or are serving our great country, and invites them to join us and be recognized. I can’t listen to the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ without a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes…I am quite sure you are shocked by this admission!! HAHA!  Seeing Michael holding a little American flag in the midst of this scene was so awesome!! They always conclude the parade with Lee Greenwood, “I’m Proud to be an American.” FORGET IT!  I can’t handle that one either!  As I have said time and time again, I FEEL EVERYTHING!!! I feel all the words!!  I am so proud to be an American.  I wish others were as well. People growing up today do not get it! Don’t see what they have, it breaks my heart, as I’m quite sure it breaks our Lord’s heart as well….
 
HOW PRECIOUS IS HE?????


Last day of school...
BEFORE....

THEN AFTER....










Riding home from church one Sunday, Chris Tomlin, “our God is Greater” came on the radio…what could be better than my son, the one with very dark brown hair, in the way back of the van, SINGING THIS SONG!! Singing about our God that he knew NOTHING about until June 25th, 2012, when Mason and I first prayed with him…and then his first chance to hear the Gospel in a church IN CHINA when I made it my mission to get to the pastor of the church in Guangzhou to give him the 5 minute low down on who Jesus is…THE SINGLE PURPOSE OF HIM BEING A PART OF OUR FAMILY, IS FOR HIM TO KNOW THAT HE IS PART OF AN EVEN BIGGER FAMILY – JESUS’ FAMILY!!  We are ALL His by adoption!! As we are almost at our year mark, it is unbelievable to think of ALL that has happened!
VBS…last year the day before I left for China was the last day of VBS. Our scripture last year was so perfect…anything is possible…everything is possible….this year the theme was Stand Strong!  God helps us to STAND STRONG, family and friends help us to STAND STRONG, Prayer helps us to STAND STRONG, Trusting God helps us to stand strong…







we have had great stories, crafts, games and snacks. We missed Tuesday because we had a special day that could not be rescheduled!!  We had our RE-ADOPTION hearing. This was a final step in our adoption of Michael. The adoption in China was complete, but we were told to get this done, as it will make his life easier as he goes along. He will be given a Florida birth certificate of foreign birth. Now he will just have to produce that birth certificate instead of all his Chinese papers.   My sister, Elizabeth and my dad came to the courthouse for the 10 minute hearing and then we went to lunch afterwards.







 It was a very special day. We had our Gotcha day with a cake and cookout!  What a difference a year makes!! All the milestones for this child of God are numerous…amazing…we are so proud of Michael and all his accomplishments. What a brave boy to give me a hug that very first day, and happily go with us…it is truly unbelievable!!



Momma Zanie, my sister Jane came for a visit. This was the first time the boys and Matt had seen her since her heart transplant back in November! She looks awesome!  When I saw her back in April, she did not look so good, but she is really doing great…What a miracle she is!! We are so grateful for modern medicine and thankful to the family that thought to donate their special someone’s heart…we are forever thankful! Uncle Maxie came to visit as well, and he loves his Ray boys and love him too!
Betty Lou, my daddy and Zanie











Now it is July and I’m trying to catch up before we leave on our trip.  I cannot believe that I didn’t finish the post about VBS…Now of course I can’t remember which day it was, it must have been Friday…The story was about Jesus dying for us…there was a dramatic reading by our children’s ministry director….a girl walking along in life, telling a little white lie, shrugging it off, it’s okay, it wasn’t that big…stumbling, not completely following Christ…then Jesus (our minister) walking down the aisle with a cross, he stumbles, he places it up front, places himself against the cross, his head drops…it is finished…then 3 days later he rises from the dead…goes to that girl, hugs her, she follows him, then he gathers other children from the pews to join him….all the while I had been watching my Michael…he was so moved…moved to tears…he went to our minister, “Jesus” and wanted to be a follower of his…he was sobbing silently, lifting the front of his shirt to wipe his tears…he totally got it…I knew he had already understood, but then I really knew he completely understood…After we were dismissed from church that day, I went outside as he still had tears in his eyes, and asked him why he was crying, even though I already knew…he said, ‘I just so thankful to be in this world.” Less than a year of knowing Jesus’ name, he is proclaiming His name!!  Who else could have worked all this??? None other than God HIMSELF!! Again, how could we have said NO to His asking??? 




Are you hearing Him ask you anything??? Listen closely...you can do it!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!


now it is time for just filling in pictures...
Birthday party for a friend at a lake…tubing for the first time…s’mores…and they made ice cream!  I voted my friend Stephanie for the best mom award!!



Night out at the Suns game…Daddy got to throw out the first pitch!! Awesome night for the boys!!







Happy One 1 year!!
All intentions of getting him a new bike for this day, but it didn’t happen…I am a slacker!! But then it did...
The new bike, finally…YIKES!!! I had to special order it…it is a 20” bike with the lowest stand over height (which of course he can’t stand over, but that is ok)…BUT when we went to pick it up, it was NOT what we were told it would be!! Very long story, but in the end, the guy felt really bad ( and he doesn’t seem like a huge fan of children, since anytime we have been in his shop he is ALWAYS worried that the boys are going to touch the bikes…)…gritting his teeth, he told me I didn’t have to buy the bike…he doesn’t stock it…no one would typically buy this bike for a 6 year old, which is most likely the average age of a child that would ride this bike. I, of course would pay it because Michael will ride it for a LONG TIME!!! We ended up getting a different bike, no speeds (WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED FOR HIM!!!!) but he was fine…He rode it as soon as we got home, and got to ride it the next morning to swim practice and could keep up with his brothers!  The other story about a child and his/her bike….
When Morgan was VERY young, I tried to find any ride on toys I could for him…it was a challenge to say the least…looking on line, looking a parenting sites for short statured kids…finally found a little radio flyer scooter…that was the very best thing ever…the one we had they don’t make anymore, but it was so great and I have so many mental memories of Morgan scooting around the house and also the driveway and back patio…hours on end that boy could scoot!! Then it was time to try to find a bicycle with training wheels…this proved even harder….I had a friend that I was talking to one day about how frustrated I was, displaying a wounded heart for my son…I just wanted my son to have a bicycle…she said, “well there are more important things than riding a bike….” My head almost exploded…I wrote it off AGAIN with her being clueless, and just NOT GETTING IT!! She never had and she never would… She was famous for ALMOST ALWAYS saying ridiculous things that I would later discuss with Matt, while shaking my head in disbelief…there more important things than riding a bike??? Yes, I suppose there are, but tell that to a child that wants more than anything to be able to do all the things his friends do, and one of them is riding a bike!!!  It gives a child a sense of FREEDOM!! So needless to say I am THRILLED that we were able to get Michael a bigger bike so he can keep up with his brothers AND his friends!

the one I ordered but didn't get....

the one that came home! 


sleepovers in the hall with the tents and tunnels…lots of use out of these over the years!! Thanks LaLa!!



Pizza making 


Beach visit to see Beedo
 


4th of July - last year Mason and I were in China...it was good to be home this year!!





















Practice for the world games…









First heat ribbon for Michael on the 100 free!  Everyone was cheering for him!
He and Morgan both won 1 individual heat and 1 relay! It was so awesome!!




The farmers market, without the chicken feet!!




Championship meet for summer league…
Power nap before the meet

Waiting for it to begin

So excited to win a heat!! 


Next morning, Morgan and Michael's turn






Summer league is over for this year...now it's onto....
2 days later...it all starts again...except this time it's for a year round team...and not just any team....one of the top 5 in the country..Morgan, and now Michael aspire to be Paralympic swimmers (Mason and Maddox aspire to be Olympic swimmers)...Time will tell if any of them, have what it takes...This is an entirely different post all its own....stay tuned....



They're all in!!  Same place, same time, at least for now. Let the swimming begin!
Hitting the road in less than a week for East Lansing, MI to Michigan State University, the location for the 2013 World dwarf Games!  Getting so excited to make this trip and praying that we can bring home some GOLD, SILVER OR BRONZE for TEAM RAY FOR USA!!  Please pray for us in our travels. I plan to be a MUCH better blogger while on the road!!  I will post from the games!!! Track/Field Saturday after opening ceremonies, swimming Sunday, soccer Monday, off on Tuesday and basketball on Wed...it will be an exciting time and we can't wait to see old friends and meet new ones!  So many blessings came from God choosing us to be all of these boys' parents!! So thankful!!
Thanks so much for your patience while I try to get a post completed!!  Blessings to each and every one of you and thanks for all your prayers and support!! GO TEAM RAY FOR USA!!